Blog 006

God redeems 🌺

It’s really true when people say God can heal your heart in an instant.

As we prepare to go out into the nations, we are equipped and taught various topics each week but there was one week in particular that I was especially excited to experience: Lordship Week!

The speaker said it so well when he said,

“Jesus is Lord, I just need to receive it, and He has given me His whole self, but does He have all of me?”.

This shook me to the core. I knew there was a deeper level of surrender the Lord was looking for in my heart.

For many years I struggled with a need for control over my life. I love Jesus so much and I know He is trustworthy but I don’t quite live like that’s true. In fact, I’ve had such a tight grip on my independence and stability that I almost act as if God is somehow going to let me down (which is so untrue).

Well, what I love about Jesus is that He knows the lies we believe in our hearts and how to heal us to live in the fullness of what He has for us.

I walked into my last day of Lordship Week and, publically, in front of my whole class, committed to laying down my control. I brought my whole self to Jesus, desiring to let go of my need to be consumed with my stability and security in life and choosing to commit to following Him into what He desires for me, even if that means jumping off the edge of all the familiar things I’ve had thus far in life.

It was a difficult yet beautiful moment. But God in His kindness knew that the work that needed to be done in my heart was still unfinished that day.

I will save you all the details, but after I had my moment of making my commitment to the Lord, my dear friends prepared a very special way of blessing me that completely took me by surprise. Before I knew it, I was sitting on our deck, having my feet washed by two very special people here.

For those who are unfamiliar, washing another’s feet is done to imitate Jesus’ example when He washed His disciples’ feet as an act of serving, loving, and honoring one another (John 13: 1-15). If you have never experienced this before, I will say it was the most uncomfortable yet overwhelmingly beautiful thing ever.

In a single moment, God healed my heart and completely redeemed deep roots of hurt, rejection, and dishonor which had led to my fear of losing control over my life for years. The dishonor had led to distrust, unfortunately, even in Jesus, the most trustworthy One. It was a moment of personal healing but also generational healing of a root in my bloodline. God really loves to do the full work that’s required. I didn’t even know it until I was sitting there weeping with my friends as they served me in this precious way.

At the start of the year, I asked the Lord for a word for 2023 and I got three: 1. redeem 2. restore 3. refresh.

And it feels like He is doing all three. I feel as if He has truly clothed me in white and placed a crown on my head.

Psalms 103: 4 says He

“redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion”

Jesus is our Redeemer. There is nothing too deep or hidden for Him. There are no lost moments with Him. He can bring all things back to life.

Thank you, Jesus, for the way You redeem what is broken, restore what is lost, and bring refreshment to our souls. There could not be a better way for Him to prepare my heart as I get ready for this next season of life!

Stay tuned for updates on transitioning into my next season in Papua New Guinea!